By meekobb · Stargate: Atlantis
Rated M · 5 chapters · 5,143 words · In progress
Someone from John's past is now in Atlantis - and he isn't handling himself very well. John/OFC.
Screwed.
Yep. Totally screwed.
He knew he should have read the manifest that Woolsey left on his desk of the new staff that was coming on the Daedalus but he didn't. He was going to do exactly as he done every other time. Deal with it later when he needed to. This time...if he had looked at it, he would have been able to prepare himself for her.
All he wanted to do was just go through the usual speech, give the tour with Lorne and McKay, then drop them off at their assigned rooms. Why oh why did she have to be in his group! Oh yeah. He made Lorne split everyone up so that he didn't have to. He had his new officers he needed to break in with Ronon yet.
Those eyes. He was always a sucker for them. And of course her smile. He could remember her lips around him...Fuck! Not again. Think about other things Sheppard, he thought as he tried to keep it straight as he led his group around. At least she was hanging back away from him.
Don't look back there Shep, the voice in his head reminded him.
But what did he do? He looked. Crap. She was wearing her civvies, shorts and those fuck-me heelssandles. Why was she in so little? He vaguely remembered something about Caldwell mentioning their environmental system going crazy. Oh yeah.
Don't look at her legs... You idiot.
He felt himself harden more and more. Focus on the papers, the tour, then get them to their rooms so that you can get to yours!
Right. Easier said than done. You dirty bastard.
Who was next to drop off? Figures. Hers. Wait, where are we? What?
You're right around the corner Sheppard. And the infirmary is just one floor up.
Of course she would be put near it. She's a fucking doctor! But why so close to him.
At last he managed to avoid looking again as they made their way to her door. Of course by not looking at her, his eyes were on everyone and everything else. What are you looking at buddy! She isn't yours...
Dammit! Sheppard! She isn't yours either! You were the one that made that choice!
No, he didn't. Not really. If he didn't leave, she would have first. Ha!
Fuck. Why did she have to be so good at her job? Because she was dedicated to her work as much as you, but still she had room in her life for you.
You fool. She will likely end up hooking up with one of your men and you can't do a damn thing about it. And here you thought you were over her.
Of course that was because he didn't have to see or think about her for over six years. The man was kept busy with other things.
Great! Now she's tucked away in her room. Drop off two more and you're done for the day. Get it over with already. Of course he barely made it to inside his door, locking it from any and all access and interruptions.
Dude, pacing isn't going to help your problem.
Will you shut up?
Nope. Just get it over with.
Ripping his belt off, the man barely got his pants around his knees and leaned against the wall before he collapse. Wrapping his hand around his cock, he let out a moan as he tried to not think about what she might be doing.
He stroked himself slowly, letting his head fall back. Why? He kept asking himself. He didn't want a relationship. He was never good at them and even when he was with her, it felt different no matter how much he tried to, and did run.
The silence of the room was filled with his grunts as he pumped his cock harder. That voice kept nagging him and he just wanted it to go away.
You were and still are in love with her!
Don't say that!
Love! Love, love, love...
That voice had to belong to a fucking leprechaun because it would be dancing around in circles right then with some crazy confetti shit.
GUH! Fuck. That was quick. He blinked as he waited for his head to clear. Why did he have the feeling that he would be doing a lot more of that now?
Um. Because you are too chicken shit to go ask her on a real date, to let yourself be happy?
Go fuck yourself.
No thanks! I just watched you fuck yourself! Bet it would have felt better if you fucked her?
Go away!
Not until you do something about her – and you know you can't let her go back.
Of course. That was his luck. He needed to tell someone. He knew Ronon wouldn't say anything but he would have to deal with his teasing for a bit. I can deal with that.
Hours later, after mindless teasing, questions, and general shock, he got the same response from Ronon as that little voice.
John Sheppard was an idiot and he knew that the Ancients were playing probably the biggest joke ever. Of course, it was also fate that sent her to him and he just had to work on mustering the courage to face his past. And he did have every intention to do so...after suffering with his hand and the voice for a few more weeks.
Three weeks after she arrived, John was still no where closer to figuring out what to do. He was fortunate enough that Ronon had stopped his teasing but Rodney unknowingly kept up the torture when the group was together. All he could talk about is how hot the new doctor in town was. It took all he had to keep his face straight as he entertained his friend's delusions about her despite being the man being happily involved in a relationship.
Jennifer knew she had nothing to worry about and let Rodney go on amused in her own right because despite considering her new colleague and topic of his latest rant being attractive, her boyfriend was quickly threatened with large gauge needles upon his next visit by the woman.
Looking up towards the door, where John had just focused his gaze before returning to hurrying to finish his breakfast, she narrowed her eyes slightly in confirmed suspicion at seeing the pretty doctor.
"Alright. I'll see you guys later. I have a lot of reports to do for Woolsey today," John said as he cleaned up his tray and left, receiving goodbyes from everyone.
It didn't take long for her to make her way through the meal queue and look around for an empty table to sit at. John had already made his escape from the main area but watched on for a moment before leaving the doorway completely to see what she would do. He let out a sigh when he noticed Jennifer and Teyla waving her over to where they were still. Frowning, he kept his eyes on her as she went over and sat down with a bright smile on her face, a familiar pain in his chest choking him before he turned to return to his work as a means of distraction and avoidance.
Ronon and Rodney eventually left to go deal with their individual tasks for the day and Jennifer finished her meal and headed off to her shift. Aracely remained with Teyla at the table as it was actually her day off that week. She worked on her farina - or what she believed to be farina - quietly as the Athosian sipped her tea thoughtfully.
"So how are you finding Atlantis thus far?" Teyla asked with a warm smile.
Aracely looked at her and shrugged a shoulder. "It's been nice. Those that I have met have been welcoming for the most part. It is a beautiful city."
"There has been someone unwelcoming?" she asked confused at who she may be speaking of.
The woman only shrugged as she collected her half eaten breakfast that was not particularly good. "Nothing I hadn't expected," she smiled halfheartedly. "I will see you around, yes?"
"Of course. You are still welcome to join us for evening meal if you wish," Teyla smiled.
"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks," Aracely said as she headed off.
Carson had wanted to place Aracely on a gate team and while he recommended that she speak to Colonel Sheppard about it, he said she could also seek out Major Lorne as the Colonel was often busy. She opted for the other as she did not know herself of what to say if she were to come to face her former lover.
John sat in his office, the fishbowl of a room, and looked out as people passed by. Mostly military, some scientists here and there working on different repairs in their area. The reports he had said he needed to do were open on the computer but his attention was elsewhere, memories of the past when he would come home with work and she'd surprise him in some new negligee and climb into his lap, making him forget about his stressful day in all of a heartbeat.
His mind began to run rabid again, the image of her coming into his office then in that same sheer black babydoll with matching panties, her hair fallen around her shoulders in the thick waves that he loved burying his fingers in. He could feel himself growing hard at the fantasy when he was jolted back to reality by her presence in the doorway.
He didn't say anything but sit up straighter as he met her gaze. John pulled himself closer to the desk, in attempt to mask his raging erection in his pants as they stared each other down to see who would break their silence first.
"I, uh, was told by Dr. Beckett to find Major Lorne but he seems to be out with a team," she said softly. Her voice, the first time he's heard it in maybe six, no seven, years sounded just as sultry and musical as it had back then, even when she didn't intend for her words to come out that way. It was just the effect she always had on him.
He nodded to her, reluctantly dragging his eyes from her as he cleared his throat to check the schedules on the computer. Any distraction was welcomed at that point. She was at his office for business. Nothing else. He could handle it. Right?
Wrong.
As he pulled up Lorne's roster and schedule, his eyes glanced back over at her. She was off duty, clearly, by the looks of her outfit. A large loose shirt that was fitted around her hips to hug her curves softly and allowed the top edge of her dark bra to peek through the low cut neckline, dark leggings that accentuated her legs that he knew she worked out regularly, and tall black leather boots that just completed the entire ensemble and screamed to him to just take her and bend her over his desk.
"Dr. Beckett said that he wanted me to join one of the more active off world teams to get the experience at least part time," she added after a moment and received only a vague nod from him.
John knew that Carson wanted to put at least one of his new staffers on a team and Woolsey said as much that he had wanted a medical professional with his team whenever they were to make first contact with new worlds so that someone was there that could adequately assess the people with further recommendations. That meant he had to strongly consider her for his own team. Talk about being fucked.
John managed to get out a half assed lame excuse that he needed to get in touch with Lorne about the teams as he had difficulties accessing that area of the system. He knew she knew that he was stalling. Thankfully, she only nodded and said she'd try again later if either of them didn't find her first before leaving.
Leaning back in his chair, he let out a heavy breath that he had been holding. Thanking god for that small reprieve, he looked back down to see his pants clearly tented. Glaring at his crotch he grumbled, "Traitor." Pointless, he knew. But it continued to stand there proud and at attention making him run his hand over his face in frustration and willed himself to calm down by getting his work done. It was going to be another night jerking himself off he knew. Damn those boots.
It wasn't for two more days, after he and Lorne had it out about the medical personnel and team assignments that it was obvious that she had to go on Sheppard's team. He had to man up and deal with it. Evan looked at him as he sat in his chair, knowing that his commanding officer was trying to come up with any excuse that he could to avoid it. Now he just had to figure out how to let her know. He would stall as long as he could, but he also knew too well that he couldn't handle masturbating by way of his hand much longer. That science girl that he had expressed interest in him two years before had been transferred back to Earth and he wasn't about to try to start with some random face.
When he made his way to his team's usual dinner table, he paused at seeing herwith his friends. It wasn't unexpected. She worked closely with his friend and best friend's girlfriend so it was inevitable that she would follow them in regards to socialization with the people of Atlantis. Just in seeing that he knew that she felt very much out of place out here, where he was so very greatly at home. Back on Earth, she would have been in the face of anyone she was interested in getting to know.
John slowly made his way over to the group, as he always had before and sat in his usual chair. Only difference this time, shewas in the seat that Rodney usually occupied. Looking around, he noticed that his friend was no where to be seen.
"Dr. Zelenka's assistant damaged a panel on Major Lorne's jumper," Teyla informed him, knowing what he was thinking and smiled.
"Oh. Okay. Just means we get to keep our own pudding cups tonight then," he smiled, looking around the table at everyone before ending with Aracely next to him and started in on his dinner.
He started working on his dinner when Carson brought up the subject manner that he hoped to not deal with yet.
"So Colonel, do you know anything about what team that the lass here will be on a gate team?" Carson asked innocently, causing John's eyes to snap up at him, his mouth stopped chewing and glanced over at his ex.
Swallowing the bite he had in his mouth slowly, he looked down for a moment in thought before asking her, "How long is your contract for in Atlantis?"
Aracely knew what that meant without him actually saying the words. He needed to know how long he would have to deal with her. "Three years blind with open option for renewal," she answered after a moment.
She watched as he let the knowledge seep in as his eyes flashed slightly when he glanced up at her before sitting back. Nodding he let out a breath, trying to sound calm and cool. "Almost all the more active teams already has someone from med attached to them. Knowing how much Carson prefers to stay in the City, you would be attached to my team. You okay with that?"
She looked at him, nodding slowly in response. "I can handle it," she said, wondering if he would be able to.
John turned back to his food before shrugging a shoulder. "Come past my office this afternoon or tomorrow and we'll talk about it more. I'll have to get someone to get you fitted for off world gear."
He caught her out of the corner of her eye looking at her watch, clearly trying to figure out either how to avoid it as long as possible or piece together her own schedule in her head to make the time to see him. That was until Carson came to the rescue again.
"Oh don't worry about it Lass. The infirmary is well covered this afternoon and I'll be in my office dealing with paperwork so you can get all you need to get done with Colonel Sheppard that you need to," he smiled at them.
Damn you Carson!John thought as he spent the the rest of the time focused on his dinner. He would have to confront her. Tonight.
After dinner, John headed off to his office, thinking about Aracely being on his team when going off world. He knew shecould handle it, but it was the part about him and her being around each other so much was the problem. The other part, his rational part of his brain, that wondered was how she was with a weapon. His cock twitched at the that one. She handled hisweapon quitewell.
Growling to himself to settle down, he glanced up to see her making her way to his office with Teyla, clearly talking about something that put a smile on her face. God how he missed that. As his friend left Aracely at his door with a wave to John, he motioned to the empty seat across from him. "Have a seat," he invited with a rough voice.
She sat down, keeping a close eye on him. "Look, Colonel, before we get to business, I think we need to get over the elephant that is clearly around since I arrived," she said.
John instantly froze in his seat as he looked at her, swallowing hard. "Yes?" he croaked.
Aracely eyed him for a long moment before leaning forward slightly as she thought about her next words. "It has been a long time since we last spoke. We both can be - adults about working together I think. I will admit, when I realised that I would be seeing you again, I was excited and apprehensive. I mean, you broke up with me and made it clear that we were never going to be more than what we were. I accepted it. I wasn't ready for a heavy commitment myself."
His face reddened as he listened, knowing that what he had said and done when they split wasn't the entire truth. It was the right thing then, but when he said he didn't want more with her, he had been lying to her, and to himself. Should he tell her that now?
"This isn't the ideal situation for either of us considering our history. I -" she started before he cut her off, unable to remain quiet any longer.
"Ace - it's not that I don't want you around like that. It's just - uncomfortable," he said. "I was caught by surprise..."
She smiled and nodded. "I got the gist of that when you were quick to drop me off at my room," she teased lightly, keeping the conversation light.
John ran his hand over the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Yeah. Well, let's just say that some things weren't quite forgotten either when I saw you."
Raising an eyebrow, she eyed him. His red face and body shifting in his seat, she Ohh'd at him. "Sorry - for making you uncomfortable like - that..."
Laughing he shook his head. "No, no. It was um, something that - well a reaction you always … yeah."
"So, good reaction or bad reaction?" Aracely asked, her voice dropping an octave with her curiosity, her lips pulling back knowingly.
John raised his eyes up to her and leveled his gaze on her. What she wanted to know he would never be able to put into words. His continued feelings for her. His renewed desire for her. And a slight nod indicating her silent question to his need to relieve himself.
"Oooh," she let out, her eyes dropping to the desktop that hid the part of his body that had already begun to react to her eyes on him. "So what does this mean? For my position on the team, or for you and I?"
There it was. The golden question. What did it mean? What did he want? If he could, he would have taken her right there but like before, he worked in a fishbowl for everyone to see. "I am still not good at relationships Ace," he said quietly.
"Is that what you want? A relationship?"
Did he? The voice in his head was encouraging it. Maybe this time he would listen. "I don't know."
Pursing her lips, she nodded. She was always good at hiding her emotions but he knew that she was disappointed. No matter how difficult he was, she had always been patient and helped him through his shortcomings in that sense.
"I could try," he said after a minute, his voice barely a whisper. "And if we did, we'd have to keep it between us. Being on the same team and all..."
"John, I'd be on your team part time, only in a medical sense. I think that your fraternization rules wouldn't apply. If you want to trythis again between us, you are letting your brain get in the way again," Aracely pointed out. "Just as it did last time."
He couldn't help but to laugh and in that his eyes glanced over the computer again. "Well," he coughed. "We're heading off world for a standard visit with the Athosians - Teyla's people. We usually bring Carson or Keller with us but if you're going to be attached to the team, you'll get to meet them the day after tomorrow."
"Sounds like a party," she nodded, committing herself to looking up the information on the people when she returned to her room.
"Okay then..."
"So - you look good," Ace commented, reluctant to leave. "Being out of the countrydoes you good."
John shrugged. "It's work. It's home."
"Still," she shared as she stood and looked him over again. "It's great to see you. I'll see you around?"
He had bit on his lip, looking away while she stood before looking at her sharply as she started her goodbyes. "Uh, yeah, sure. Um Aracely?"
She had reached the door and turned around. "Yes John?"
"You busy tonight?" he asked, hope and uncertainty in his voice, but relief at the sight of her smile.
John and Aracely had set up tentative plans to meet but he had been on edge for the rest of the afternoon and through dinner. He was never more pleased that his friends didn't put him through an inquisition about why he was so jumpy and eying the door for a quick escape.
And escape he wanted. He paced his room, feeling as if he was on fire from thinking about his former lover and those boots of hers. A cold shower was greatly needed and certainly helped some, but it wasn't quite what his body was demanding for. He had just finished pulling his shirt over his head when he was alerted to someone at the door. Running a hand through his still wet hair, he was surprised to see her there.
He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but before any sound could come out, she reached up and pushed him back into his quarters. As soon as the doors slid closed behind her, he looked down to find her eyes open wide with determination and something else? John could have been mistaken but he thought she looked a little afraid. A word he never thought to apply to her.
She still pushed against his chest, making him stumble backwards until his legs caught the edge of his bed and he fell onto it in a heap. Without breaking her stride, she climbed up and straddled him and immediately the raging hard on he had finally calmed in the shower was back and pressing against her backside.
He knew she felt it because if it were any more possible, her eyes widened a fraction more and darkened exponentially. Again, he tried opening his mouth to question what she was doing, that what was happening was wrong – but he fucking wanted it.
Her hand flew up to his mouth, her fingers thrust past his lips to suck on as they had in the past, and to keep his mouth occupied from speaking. "Shh," she let out softly, her hips rocking over his forcing a groan from him. "You know damn well that until this is happens, we won't be able to function around one another."
John knew was she was thinking. Their tension was palpable. Fuck, anyone within visual range of the two could taste the sexual arousal the two ignited in one another. They needed to get it out of their systems, and fast. Closing his eyes, he pressed his pelvis up against her to let her know he was game.
In the next blink, her hands were working his pants free as quickly as his were. If sex had been a sport between the two of them when they were together all those years before, they would have been gold medalists in getting one another undressed in record time. When he started cursing under his breath and slapped a hand over his face, Aracely looked at him confused. "What?"
"I don't have any condoms here. Never needed them..." he muttered before released a few more curses.
"When have you known me to not be on any sort of birth control?" she grinned before shifting her weight, causing his erection to rub against her warm, wet center. "I have an IUD. I've had it in for years. We're good."
"Thank fucking God," John sighed, running his hands over her thighs as he felt her press down onto him. The sensation of being inside her, and not just any woman, was mind-blowing. So much so that when his hands reached her small waist, they dug into her flesh when she tried to start moving.
Letting out a huff, Aracely looked at him, her hands on his chest for balance. "What now?"
"Just – I need a moment. It's been awhile," he answered in a strained voice.
"Sorry," she smiled, relaxing as she waited him out. When he nodded tentatively for her to continue, she kept it slow. Slower than she would have like as she really needed to fuck him and be fucked hard. He knew that too.
When he was sure that he had his control back in his own hands rather than that of a teenager who was fumbling around for the first time, he bent his knees to find some sort of traction for his feet when he thrust up into Aracely hard – to her pleasure and surprise.
John couldn't help but to grin at the sudden widening of her eyes as he scored by getting her in the right spot where she let out a strangled cry as she tried to hold herself together. Now the shoe was on the other foot.
"Off," he nearly growled as he sat up to switch positions. Aracely had moved first to her knees and was about to turn over to her back when he grabbed her hips again and pulled her back to him, quickly sliding back into her folds.
She let out a grunt that quickly changed into a moan as her eyes rolled closed. Pressing her upper body to the covers of the bed, she panted as he thrust into her repeatedly. Once the initial shock wore off, she let herself enjoy the feeling of him in her. Shifting so that she rested on her arms, Aracely peeked over her shoulder at John and found herself surprised at the intense look in his eyes as he looked back at her.
Just as his relationships with his team, he didn't have to speak for them to understand one another and in just a shared look, Aracely and John knew this would not be a one time thing. There was no way with how strong their attraction was, and it wasn't just the physical responses their bodies shared.
He wasn't going to last nearly as long as he would have liked and it unnerved him whenever he was able to get off before his lover did, if she had been able to at all. It wasn't like they had that problem in the past but there were a few times that he lacked enough control to last for her. Reaching around her waist with one hand, as the other continued to hold her firmly in place as he pounded into her, John began rubbing his fingers over her clit. He couldn't help but to grin at the moan Aracely let out as she was unable to hold herself up on her arms and her hands fisted into his sheets.
John could barely hear her begging pants, asking for him to go harder as her face pressed into the mattress to muffle the scream of pleasure that rocked through her body, her body tense and glistening in sweat beneath his touch.
It did not take him long after feeling her muscles contract and tighten around him before he let go, collapsing across her back. Struggling for oxygen, he shifted them so that they could fit somewhat comfortably on his small single bed. When he looked back down at her, John smiled as he watched her rest and come down from her high with a soft smile on her lips and her eyes closed.
He knew he said he wanted to try, but in that moment, John knew that he didn't want to just try. He want to be. He wanted to be with her and this time he wanted to fight. Only thing he truly was concerned about as he laid beside her, was just wanting to keep her to himself for as long as he could before all hell would break loose.